Where Would Your Dumb Ass Be???

When I lived in Indonesia, I remember that I was having a hard time dealing with male superiority complex that was present with my host family….. I posted this on that old blog and Just came across it…. I figured it might be something that I wanted to keep…it kind of made me chuckle. So I will share it with you all.   If you want to see pictures from my Peace Corps journey you can take a look at my old blog at fromwenchitcame. There are some pretty pictures 🙂

*************************************************** This is supposed to be funny and not meant to offend anyone!

Where Would  Your Dumb Ass Be???

Our World has been blessed with brilliant men–men who have really made a difference in the lives of people all around the World. Men like Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Isaac Newton, just to name a few. Hell, I will even throw in Christopher Columbus for his discovery of America (we will just overlook the fact that he actually got lost, didn’t ask for directions, and thought that he was in India the whole time). And from so many brilliant men we have wonderful things in our lives like the printing press, the light bulb, the telephone, and high heels (come one, you know a man is responsible for those amazing torture devices). So the question remains… How did they do it? How did they get so damn smart? Well, the proof is in the puddin’ my friends. It’s in the written word. Its all there in the Book of Genesis.  I am not going to quote the bible because, frankly, I can’t, but I am going to give you the ‘CliffsNotes’ version from Sunday School:

Back when it all began God created Man, and from Man’s side God took one rib. From that rib God created Woman (and he saw that it was good). He named the man Adam and the woman Eve. God placed Adam & Eve in his paradise garden, Eden. The one rule was that they could not eat the fruit from the tree of Knowledge.

One Picturesque day Adam was lounging about because he had nothing better to do. His stomach started to growl. He looked to Eve with a pleading look indicated that he was hungry. Eve rolled her eyes at Adam and indicated that he should go and find his own damn food. With a dumbfounded look, Adam let Eve know that he had no clue as to where to find food, so Eve, being the loving woman that she was, went to search for food for Adam.  On her journey through the garden, a snake happened by and stopped in front of her. “I sssseeee that you are looking for food for the man who can not feed himsssself,” said the snake. Eve rolled her eyes and nodded, silently agreeing that Adam was a lost cause and she had to take care of him so the he didn’t perish. The snake told Eve that he knew where to find food that would not only assuage Adam’s hunger but would also teach him how to feed himself. Eve knowing that Adam needed to learn a bit of independence followed the snake to the tree of knowledge. Upon seeing where they were, Eve immediately recoiled in horror, shaking her head profusely at what the snake was suggesting.  “I know that you were told not to eat from this tree, but the fruit of this tree holds the power to help Adam learn how to survive on his own. You would only be doing him a service,” said the snake. Eve thought about what the snake was saying and agreed that something had to be done to help the ever confused Adam, but she didn’t want any harm to befall Adam…she was just that caring. So in an act of pure selflessness she decided to pluck an apple for the tree’s suspended limbs and take a bite to see what would happen. Immediately her eyes became focused and the world around her appeared in a different light. She identified many food sources around her, and knew what the snake had said was true. She looked down at her person and saw that she was naked and then fashioned underwear for her and Adam out of leaves. 

Eve made her way back to Adam carrying an apple for him to eat and the underwear she had made for him. Adam looked up at Eve with is ever present look of confusion. Eve handed Adam the apple and told him to eat. Without questioning it, Adam took a bite from the apple and like Eve, immediately started to see things clearly. He looked down at his person and saw that he too was naked. Eve handed Adam the cover she has fashioned out of leaves, and Adam began to put it on his head. “No! Adam, it goes around your waist to cover your man parts.” Just when Adam was about to correct his error God appeared. “Adam! Why are you wearing leaves on your head?” asked God. “Because I am naked,” replied Adam. God became enraged that not only had his prized creation, Man, eaten from the forbidden tree of knowledge, but he was also sitting in a garden naked wearing underwear on his head like a jackass. It was all too much to handle, and in his anger God cast Adam and Eve from  the garden forever.

So there you have it. Adam was sitting naked around a garden like a bump-on-a-log, not knowing his ass from his elbow until Eve, being the kind and generous soul that she was, decided to share the fruit from the tree of Knowledge with Adam. Adam’s eyes were opened and he gained knowledge (though it seemed to take a little bit of time for the knowledge to fully sink in). Hence, Man has Knowledge because Woman gave it to him. Woman is responsible for first gaining knowledge and then generously sharing it with the likes of Man.  What would have happened if Eve had decided to keep Knowledge to herself?  I think every man should turn to the women in their lives and give them a big “Thank You!” for gifting them with the good sense to get up every morning, put clothes on (correctly), and function with some semblance of intelligence. After all, it is possible that without woman, man would still be sitting naked in the dirt with a clueless look on his face.

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Its Not Like Normal Happiness…

I would say that its a pretty safe bet that ‘we’ (humans in general) strive for happiness. Most parents say that what they want for the children when they grow up…’happiness.’ We spend a lifetime working and building relationships to achieve it….’happiness.’ But how do we measure happiness? It is a tangible goal that is the same for everyone? What makes you happy might not be the same that things, events, situations, etc. that make me happy. Does that make your happiness or my happiness any less valid?

Abraham Lincoln said, “Folks are about as happy as they set their minds to be.”  In my opinion this is accurate…. However my uber geek boyfriend would tell you that I “cherry picked” information to suit my needs…. The boyfriend…. we will call him ‘Mr. Metal-Skull’ says that he is too Brutal to be happy…  in any case I liked the quote so I am using it!…and supporting it.

I am going to let my inner nerd out as well…. and actually admit that I have been known to read Psychology Today. I am not a science nerd by any means, but I do find a lot of their articles interesting…and I can’t only read lifestyle magazines…. Mr. Metal-Skull would gag. Anyhow, in Psychology Today there was an article, “The Role of The Brain in Happiness.” The article talks about the work of Dr. Richard Davidson in field of neuropsychology and positive psychology, and his book, The Emotional Life of Your Brain. In the book Dr. Davidson describes the biochemical interaction between the limbic system and the frontal lobes. He says that the frontal lobes are involved in both higher level thought and emotion… suggesting that our thinking affects the way we feel and vice versa. That article goes on and says “The implication is that we can use our thoughts to change our feelings in a very important way – that is toward happiness… The power of positive psychology lies within the process of intentionally using thought to change emotion.” The article also talks about the roles of the left and right prefrontal cortex… but I wont go into all of that.

Suffice it to say that I am going to use this blog to share what I have done and will be doing to invoke positive thoughts… Some things within the realm of normalcy (though normal is relative), and some things that will make you wonder… WTF?

In any case…..My life is a happy life… I work hard to share that happiness everyday. But its not a normal happiness… It so much more brutal than that.

Welcome to my Brutal Bliss

Braces

The God Seuss

So a few things have happened since my last post….  The first being that I have finally be approved the appropriate number of times by the Department of Labor to have my surgery (Don’t ask me what number approval we are one now). YAY! So that is scheduled for October 22nd. In the mean time I have to be sure to get all of my pre-operative testing done, like blood work, Chest X-Rays, and EKG. FUN! And…. the rumor is that I will need to sit through a session and class with the anesthesiologist…. What I will learn I am not quite sure.. I have the basics down… don’t  eat after midnight the night before your surgery because you will barf, they re gonna stick a needle in my arm and I will proceed to fall asleep in mid sentence and then wake up drooling on myself after my surgery is over. What else do I need to know!? I guess I will find out.

I also have started a new blog. This one is for my crafting endeavors. Lets hope that I do enough crafts to post about. I have a knitting post up now and a product review.  You can view the blog here. Also please feel free to follow it and tell EVERYONE you know.. That’s right, I am not above shameful self promotion.

Speaking of promotion! I decided to buy my brother-in-law a birch box. If you don’t know what this is, it is a box of product samples. Higher end samples. (I will do a review on mine when /if it ever gets here.) They have made one for Men too! So I told him that he had a do a review on what he got. The box had to of been filled with the most inappropriate items for a sister-in-law to get.  You can read this hilarious post entitled “Best Underwear EVA” here. (No joke, I almost peed myself).

Moving on… I have been a bit stressed out lately. Just a lot of going stir crazy and not really knowing where life is gonna lead me after this surgery happens. I can try to reapply to Peace Corps. There is no guarantee that I would be allowed to go back in, but there is a part of me that feels like my traveling days aren’t over yet. My best friend also threw out the option of having some place to stay in Chicago if I wanted to start over and look for a job up there. That is a very good option too, and one I would be forever grateful for. So this is where I am at! Where do I go? What is the better option? Is it time to stop traveling and finally set down roots here in the States? Get a “real person” job and maybe find someone who wants to put up with my emotional butt on a permanent basis? Or should I try again to see parts of the world I thought never to go to? AAAAAHHHHH!

SO the stress! My Goodness the stress. My brain just goes in a circle and its a bit overwhelming.  Then I learned something. DR. Seuss helps stress! No joke. So I was just on the verge of pulling out all of my nappy head snarls when my mother suggested we watch the LORAX. I have been wanting to watch it for a long time, and hadn’t gotten the chance while I was in Indonesia…. (imagine that). It was like I was a little kid again transported into a magical land. The colors in the moving were AMAZING and I was instantly drawn in. I laughed AND I cried. It was soooo GOOD.  A few days later I was walking through the store and I saw Dr. Seuss pajama pants! ON SALE! Well how could I not get them with all of their magical healing qualities that I knew they possessed. So I bought them, went home, put them on, and….. thats right, I watched the Lorax again. And it was sooo much better as I wore my new Yertle the Turtle pajama pants!  I started to feel myself unwind and laugh. Dr. Seuss is some form of Emotional Goodness God!

I still have a huge decision to make, and a lot of emotional wanderings to sift though, but I am feeling so much better and calmer thanks to Dr. Seuss and The Lorax.   If you have not seen this movie (Whether you have children or not) I will definitely say go out and get it or rent it from iTunes or the Google Play store. It is worth your time.