I had every intention of writing an “I don’t understand / bitter Valentine’s Day’ post entitled:
“…And If Kisses & Screws Were ‘I Love You’ s We’d All Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Where I would talk about the fact all true love stories are tragic and ultimately end in disaster due to a man’s overreaction… Case in point… Romeo and Juliet: Juliet had a whole plan. Fall asleep, let everyone think that she is dead. Then wake up and be free to run away with Romeo and live happily ever after. And what did Romeo do?! He drank too much, stumbled to her body, freaked out and drank a vial of poison right before Juliet woke up! She in turn kills herself in grief. When if he had just slowed his roll for two bloody seconds he would be sipping mai tais on a beach somewhere with his wife. Another example (just so you don’t think I just went out and found circumstantial evidence for my claim) us Mark Anthony and Cleopatra. These two fell in love at first sight, pissed of Rome with their love affair and basically gave Rome the finger and got married anyways. Mark Anthony goes to war against Rome and while he is away some schmuck sends him false information that Cleopatra was dead. He freaked out and “fell” on his sword. When the still living Cleopatra finds out she takes her own life in grief. (Are you seeing the trend?)
After thinking about this and coming to the conclusion that the men in these relationships ultimately screwed their significant others over by jumping the gun, I had an amazingly random thought…. What if ALL men came equipped with an ‘Duh-de-ta-de meter?’ A device that could hook up in their brain and monitor the goings-on, and every time they are about to say or do something completely stupid (as they always do) we can press it and shock the shit out of them while screaming “Get a grip Dude!”(Think about how effective that would have been if every time Romeo went to drink that poison his ass got a jolt. I bet he would have abandoned that dumb idea real quick!).
BUT despite those thoughts and having no one to spend V-Day with this year; I have to admit that there are many aspects of it that I love… the color pink, the shape of a heart, all of the chocolate (especially white chocolate!). I even have certain romantic movies that I love to watch on Valentine’s day like: ‘Somewhere in Time’, ‘Casablanca,’ ‘Sixteen Candles,’ ‘Memoirs of a Geisha,’ and ‘Pride & Prejudice,’ to name a few. I don’t know if going all out for Valentine’s Day would be that big of a deal for me, but at this stage in my life (28 and single) having a significant other sounds appealing (though I could just be asking for troubles and headaches). So this year I am embracing the V-Day even if it is a solo celebration with hopes that one of these coming years I can make some poor schmuck watch a sappy movie with me on Valentine’s Day that will suck the life out of him! (Go ahead and slap me if that doesn’t sound like fun).
Right now I am sitting on my bed with a bar a cashew white chocolate, a
slice of strawberry flan, and a box of tissues gearing up to watch ‘TiMER.’ If you have never seen it (and many have not) it is a wonderfully cute movie. It has Emma Caulfield who is adorable on her own. The plot is future based where people can get these devices (TiMER) that are implanted into their wrists and it counts down to the day the wearer finds true love. Oona (Emma Caulfield) has a blank TiMER meaning that her soul mate- whoever and wherever he is- has yet to have a TiMER implanted. Being Close to thirty years old Oona decides to fall for a guy who has a TiMER with a countdown of 4 months!
I originally saw this movie because my sister told me I had to, and I fell in love with it. Think about it… how would our actions and feelings change if we knew exactly how long we had to wait to find true love? Or is we were already married and got a TiMER and found out we were not meant to be together? INSANE! If you have not seen see this movie I highly recommend that you do!
So that is probably enough sap for one post.